I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
