We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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