We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
