You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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