the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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