Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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