I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
