she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
