Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I know her cup size but not her name....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
