I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
