What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
