Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
