1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
