Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
