It's Friday. Sex?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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