he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
