***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
