I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
