It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
