Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
