Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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