There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
