I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
