Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
