i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
