I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
