That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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