i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
