Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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