Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
