You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
