it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
