Kiss
Puke
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
