She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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