Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize