I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
