thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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