the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
