talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
