My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
