So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
