just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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