I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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