dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
