hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
