So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
