I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
