She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
