I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize