fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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