Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
