I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
