What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
