Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
