Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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